New York, October 19, 2008
Dear Amateur Artist,
Your time has come. For years, you have been painstakingly perfecting your technique, devoting every free minute to your passion, even if it meant working at ungodly hours while the world was fast asleep. It is safe to say that you are beyond ready to finally conquer the professional art world. The contemporary art scene will be eager to embrace your talent and make you a star.
Maybe you are still insecure and hesitant about taking the big leap. Don't be afraid. It will only take a few minor adjustments for you to be strong enough to take on the Big Kahuna.
First, you need to hire yourself an agent that can help you fashion a public persona. This may sound a bit complicated but all it means is that you have to take some acting lessons and learn to control the way you behave in public, like a Hollywood actor. Second, you need to defy common sense and put all your eggs in one basket. Quit your daytime job and henceforth live your life as a full-time artist. Read up on current trends, learn to master the particular jargon of the art scene, and come up with a smart gimmick to quickly propel you to the top of the list.
Don't try to be subtle or modest - that's for amateurs. Go all the way! Work hard to meet the right people and connect with them by dropping the right names. Move to an artsy neighborhood and pick a cool bar or bistro, where you can conduct business meetings and hang out with your groupies. Become your own brand and trendsetter. Always dress in the same style and make sure you always have a photographer close at hand to document your whereabouts. Once you have settled in this new way of life, you will have no problem cracking the code that will open every door.
As you are turning your former hobby into a full-time occupation, it is imperative for you to understand that every minute of your day and night will become part of your enterprise. From now on, you must never let up. This is the only way you can achieve success in the contemporary art world. The professional artist never rests. In return, he gets all the glory, fortune, and fame.
You know you want it. Take the leap.
© 2007 The Homeless Museum. All rights reserved. homelessmuseum.org is supported by nickzilla.