New York, October 12, 2008
Please stop going to art museums. Don't believe what they say about them: it's all lies. There is nothing new for you to discover in there.
Art museums have been rehashing the same ideas forever and you should not feel obliged to pay them any attention. They are only out there to get you and steal your money and time. You have better things to do! Art museums are annoying. They always make you feel inadequate, uneducated, and inarticulate. Don't let them do it. Next time a museum tries to lure you in with empty promises, resist any temptation and walk right past it.
Just the other day, I almost fell prey to an art museum. I was walking home from work, minding my own business, when I suddenly found myself standing in front of the entrance to one of the major art museums of this city. When I saw the advertisements for the current exhibitions, I nearly caved in. But then I thought of the multiple times I had been deceived. I thought of all the humiliations and disappointments I have suffered each time I wandered through an art museum, na´vely believing that they had my best interests in mind. I thought of the shame I had felt so often after spending my precious, hard-earned money on entrance fees and catalogues. Pondering all this while standing in front of the museum entrance, I broke out in a sweat and my heart started racing like crazy. "Come on," a voice within me whispered. "How much harm can there be in one more little visit?" With great strain, I managed to tear myself away from the fatal building, walking away as fast as I could. Eventually, my heart palpitations subsided. I even felt a mild form of euphoria for having had the strength to resist yet another attempt from the museum world to lure me into its deadening embrace.
But every day is a new test of will. Art museums are sprouting up like mushrooms all around us, tightening their grip on our minds in their evil attempt to control the world. Resist, resist, resist! Don't let art museums control your life.
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